Snow schmoe!

Welcome to winter. Welcome to change. Welcome to a new season and new beginnings.

I'm not going to lie...I'm sick of the snow already. I was born in California, and a Cali girl I remain. I don't mind the cold at all...it could be -25 degrees outside and as long as it's not snowing, I'm cool with it (no pun intended). I think it's pretty to look at, and I don't mind it if I am inside sipping some hot apple cider, cuddling with my sweetie, and watching a movie. But I HATE driving in it, and even more so than I used to because I got in an accident about 2-3 weeks ago when my car slid on some black ice and now I'm just freakin' terrified to drive in the stuff. I'm one of those annoying people that all those trucks and SUVs hate because I drive like an old granny in the snow and ice. No skin off my back...at least I won't go crashing into a guardrail because I was driving too fast; if they want to pass me, fine, I don't care. I'm going to drive how I need to so all my hair doesn't fall out.

I used to only live 10 minutes away from work too, so driving in the crappy weather wasn't too big of an issue. BUT (drumroll for good news...), BF (stands not only for Boba Fett but also boyfriend...my dearest Greg) and I just got a new place together. Trouble is, it's like 30-35 minutes away with good weather and no traffic. So it kinda sucks balls getting there when it's yucky outside. But so far, so good...haven't really had any problems. AND, I love our new place. Bigger than my old one...3 bedrooms/2 bathrooms as compared to my dinky little 1 bedroom/1 bathroom. It's spacious and homey and perfect for my honey and me...now we just have to finish putting away all our crap. And decorating (but we have a plan of attack for every room...we just have to DO IT)! It's a new journey and adventure in our relationship, and I am super psyched and loving it!

On another happy note, I am actually IN the holiday spirit this year. Last year was seriously one of the most depressing holidays I have had in a long time and I could NOT get into the spirit. But this year, I am already cranking up the Christmas music and doin' the holiday thang. I want to bake cookies and make hot cocoa and decorate a tree and hang up lights and go shopping like every day and yadda yadda. I can tell it's going to be a good holiday season...hell, Thanksgiving was great! BF's Mom's meatless meatballs + my Mom's cream corn and pumpkin soup + Dad's mashed potatoes + family + BF + BF's family + pumpkin pie + yahtzee + DDR + everything else = AWESOME! 1 million katrillion times better than last year which was pretty much awful. But, I digress. Looking forward to Christmas/Solstice and New Year's this year which I am glad for.

Well, I guess that's about all I have to say for now. I promise (I know I was unsuccessful at promising last time but this time keep me honest!) I will update more often...for the 1st time in over a year I actually have internet at my house. So blogging and screwing aroung online will be easily accessible :-)

Until next time, you eat what you like and I'll eat what I like (split pea soup or peanut butter and jelly?)!

Peace, love, and happiness!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

So...long time no talk eh? Life has been...well, very life-ish. It has brought a lot of changes since I last updated...good ones though, I believe. Everyone knows how I feel about change; it is necessary and I think most of the times it turns out to be a good thing and works out to our advantage even if we don't realize it at the time. After all, the only thing constant in life is change! I used to be afraid of change until I realized that it is inevitable and brings new things in life.

Familiarity is comfortable and feels safe, and often people opt for familiarity over change even if the change will be healthy and is much needed...most people do NOT want to take a risk even if it is to better their own lives and bring happiness. Unfortunately I learned this the hard way just recently, but it has taught me a valuable life lesson. About four months ago I was finding myself unhappy in my relationship with my S.O. Things had been rocky pretty much the whole time we were together (about a year and 2 months), but it seemed like things had gotten worse during the last two months of our being a couple. Because of the drama, stress, and emotions of the relationship that were controlling me, I turned to introspection. I realized that I had lost myself over the past year...that I was no longer the optimistic and bright person I was before the relationship began. That I had given so much of myself and had not received what I needed in return to the point where I hardly knew myself anymore. I wasn't happy...what could I do myself to bring happiness? It was then I started to realize that the only person responsible for my own happiness was me. So I took a chance...made a change. After over a year, I ended my relationship with Wash.

Though it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do (I still loved him more than anything and I still care for him deeply as a person), it was the right decision to make and has led me down a wonderful new path; it has also brought me to a wonderful new man who I absolutely adore and who I am insanely happy with. It's funny how life works...something seemingly awful can lead to something amazingly wonderful. I am ridiculously excited for this new relationship and for all the fantastic experiences to come. And although I have been broken, I am healing and have learned so much about myself through this entire process. As I have said before in past entries, I believe everything happens for a reason...and I think this was all meant to be. And I am ecstatic...I couldn't be happier in my life right now...and that's really saying something :-)

Other changes?

• Adopted a new best friend! June was a big month for change! I now have an adorable little 2 year old kitty named Lizzie (thank you Jane Austen...Pride and Prejudice). She is my little baby and I am so excited to have her in my life! She's a super brat and very silly and sweet (except when she attacks me haha) and I <3>
• Got promoted in June...doing the same crap I have been doing for 2 years now but getting paid a tad bit more (not much but every little cent helps).
• Got a tattoo! My first one...and hoping to get more in the future (I am going to be an addict). It is absolutely beautiful and didn't hurt HALF as much as I thought it would! It's a red hibiscus (my favorite flower) with a treble clef over it (I LOVE my music) on my shoulder...wanted it to represent how there is music and harmony in all life. :-) It turned out absolutely stunning
• Some sad news/big change. Just this past week my mom, sister, and I had to put our 13 year old kitty Solo to sleep. He had been losing weight for a few months and then just stopped eating. We took him to the vet where we were informed that he had lympho-sarcoma, an abdominal mass, and that his organs were failing. It was time to say goodbye to our friend. He is dearly missed and loved and will always have a very special place in my heart. I am still in denial about the whole thing, and one day it will hit me like a ton of bricks. Sigh...it's gonna be rough.

So life...changes...good stuff. All workin' out the way it's supposed to. Just thought I would update you all on things. I will try and post more frequently...have just been busy and not sure what to say.

Until next time, mahon cheese is the shit!

Peace, love, and happiness!

Curious observations...

This little gator seems to be making a curious observation, as am I (hence my totally unoriginal blog entry title for today). I have had way too many random ass thoughts on my mind as of late...too much I want to talk about, yet no singular idea I have on the brain constitutes an entire entry. So I decided to do a hodgepodge of randomness (a potpourri of sorts...Alex Trebek would be so proud of me). I didn't feel like buckling down and getting all political and descriptive and blah-de-blah about something...so here is just some things that have been on my mind...curious observations of life, the universe, and everything (so long and thanks for all the fish).

• I am SO tired of seeing 14-15 year olds come in to deliver babies here at the hospital. Seriously...it's call birth control. It literally makes me sick. I know that sounds awful, but really...holy god.
• Why are people so afraid of rain? I really don't get it. Even if it's barely sprinkling, people just stand inside waiting for it to stop. Or they ask for trashbags to cover their heads while they walk 100 feet to their car. That seems so dumb to me...it's just rain people.
• Some nurses can be SO rude! You do them a favor and lend them some scissors and they complain about how dull they are...so much for trying to help. They always find SOMETHING to whine about and do their best to make sure you remember you are at the bottom of the proverbial totem pole.
• I hope Laura is having an AMAZING time in Europe...I am still jealous as hell and I miss her like crazy!! BUT, I am really, REALLY enjoying the Mary/Jessi time I have been getting!!
• Jimmy John's #6 Veggie sub is God...and I can't stop craving them
• My boyfriend smells amazing, and I LOVE when he leaves his shirts at my house so I can sleep in them when he's gone and smell him all night (is that creepy?)
• I hate not having money...just thought I would throw that out there.
• I figured out how to make buttered noodles and parmesan so now I don't have to go to Noodles & Co for it (yeah...you make noodles and melt butter and put parmesan and Italian seasoning on it...how fuckin' hard is that lol)
• SOOO excited that Mary liked playing dnd with us...that totally makes my life (I'm dragging her to our sessions all the time now muahaha)! She's a half-elf bard with a peg leg and she freaking ROCKS...seriously, she picked up the game SO fast. And she killed the most monsters!!
• I REALLY need to clean my shower...anybody want to send some motivation my way?
• There are WAY too many people with birthdays in June/July/August...my whole family, my two best friends, a bunch of OTHER friends, and me. Summer babies rock?
• How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood (ok now I'm just being a smartass)
• I finally got an easel so now I can do art in my living room or outside! Super psyched about that!
• I wish my boyfriend would get a new cell phone (he broke his like 2 weeks ago) because I have no way to contact him. And I wish he would stop changing plans at my expense...it's really pissing me off.
• I totally love half days at work. And I think it would be really nice if they would let me work 3 12-hour shifts...then I could have 4 days off. That would be amazing (but I need that extra 4 hours worth of money)
• What ever happened to Swine Flu?
• I really like all this rain we've been having. I know people are ready for the sunshine and hot weather (gag), but I love this 60-70 degree stuff with rainshowers and thunderstorms. It makes me happy.
• I'm about to get off work! Yay!!

Ok, well that's about all I have to say for now. Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile!

Until next time, always look on the bright side of life (do do do do do do do do)!

Peace, love, and happiness!

Because it's supposed to...

"I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we're not wise enough to see it." -- Oprah Winfrey

It has recently come to my attention, even more so than usual, that everything in life happens because it's supposed to happen. This includes bad things, good things, funny things, tragic things, miraculous things...what have you. Whether by some domino effect, karmic energy, plain old cause and effect, or because the godesses/gods willed it to be so, everything happens for a reason. We may not see it yet, and it may be decades down the road before we do...but it always holds true. Maybe it's teaching us something about ourselves and allowing us to grow as individuals, helping us understand others, or even just letting life work its natural process. In the end, everything works. It always has, and it always will.

About 1 year and 1 week ago, something horribly crappy happened. On my way to work one fine, Spring morning at about 5:30, I was eating my morning veggie corndog and listening to the radio. The next thing I knew, my car was in the middle of the road and there was a car stuck in my passenger door and two other cars with serious damage to my left. A lady came and held my hand through the driver's side window, which had been broken completely, as my airbags deflated. "What the hell just happened," I thought to myself. It was truly a scene out of a nightmare. There were pieces of cars all over the road and my passenger side door was caved in at least 2-3 feet. Even though I felt fine (other than being in total shock), I had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance because the paramedics thought there was NO WAY I could have been ok internally by how severely totaled my car was. The worst part about the whole thing is that I can not remember the accident at all (maybe that's not such a bad thing). According to witnesses, I fell asleep at the wheel which resulted in a 4 car accident. Needless to say, my lovely VW Beetle was history. But the most important thing was that NO ONE was injured. I, and everyone else involved, was miraculously ok. Everyone was amazed that the only injuries I suffered were a concussion, a couple bruises, and a scratch on my leg.

So how could this horrible accident POSSIBLY have been good for me...what the hell is the reason that anything like that would happen? 1) I totaled my car...this, believe it or not, was a good thing. My car payments were over $415 a month (it was brand new), and if I hadn't have totaled my car completely, I never would have been able to afford moving out of my Mom's house (which was ABSOLUTELY necessary for everyone involved) and living on my own. 2) The cause of my "falling asleep at the wheel" was a medication I was taking. Immediately after my accident, I stopped taking that medication and I have been feeling a million times better/more awake/less irritable throughout the day ever since. It was really a good thing. 3) I'm alive. The accident probably could have killed me, and should have at least caused serious injuries. But I came away unscathed (as did everyone else THANK GOD...I was so much more concerned about everyone else than myself). Why? Because I'm supposed to be here. And for that, I am really grateful.

So even though this isn't the best example (it's not too shabby though), it kinda shows that even the things we think are so shitty at the time usually help us in one way or another in the end. And every day I am seeing this more and more as I continue to live my life and enjoy my time here on this beautiful planet. I've been pretty depressed lately (for like 3 weeks nonstop), but then I remembered how wonderful and special life is...and things are lookin' up finally. Can't wait to keep on truckin'!

Until next time, live each day like your last.
Peace, love, and happiness!

Swine Flu

Everyone knows about this "swine flu" thing, or more scientifically, the H1N1 virus(if you don't know about it, you've been living under a rock and can go to http://www.cnn.com/ to read the latest...or watch the news...or listen to the radio...or just step outside). And like everyone else in the world right now, I have something to say about it: the whole thing is getting ridiculous. I understand it's a new strain that we have never seen before and in theory that's pretty scary because we have no immunity to it or no vaccines or any of that jazzy stuff. BUT, the way individuals (and even entire countries) are handling it borders on extreme paranoia, hysteria, and even cruelty.

The most surprising and devastating (and DISGUSTING) news I have heard so far that has resulted from this new "pandemic" is how Egypt is handling the situation. Egypt, mind you, has not even had ANY confirmed cases of the H1N1 flu strain...I don't even know if they've had any POSSIBLE cases. Yet, the action they are taking in preventing the spread of this flu is absolutely horrible and pig-headed (no pun intented). Egypt plans to slaughter every single one of it's 300,000 pigs...that's ALL of the pigs...in the ENTIRE country. When I read this, I almost lost it. According to the WHO, the disease originally spread from pig to human, but now it's spreading from human to human only. Pigs have NOTHING to do with this anymore other than the fact that the genetic makeup of the virus is mostly porcine (also avian/human in the strain too). So not only are all of those pigs going to die for NO fucking reason (except that humans freak out and panic about stupid shit and then make completely irrational decisions), but now the pig farmers in Egypt will have NOTHING (animal cruelty AND destroying the economy...how clever)!! And don't give me that bullshit about how pigs are just farm animals; not only are they adorable, but they are extremely smart and can learn how to play video games and even have dreams. Iraq has also killed several boars in the name of swine flu. I am sooo amazed by human stupidity sometimes...it makes me absolutely ashamed.

So aside from that nonsense, people are taking this WAAAAYYY too seriously. Folks have stopped going out in public, started wearing masks when they do, and everyone looks at you like a giant human-eating spider when you have a cough. Regular influenza strains, the kinds we get flu shots for and such, have already killed over 10,000 people this year...and people are freaking out about SWINE FLU which has only killed over 100? SERIOUSLY! You are more likely to die from plain-old influenza than H1N1. I work at a hospital and when I got to work after being off for my weekend, I had 5 new updates on this virus...TWO DAYS and I get FIVE new updates on something no one should even be freaking out about!! And if any employees are feeling the slightest bit ill, we are URGED to go home/stay home until symptoms subside...and if that's more than 7 days then we have to start filing paperwork and shit AND we still get penalized for being absent even though they are MAKING us stay home! SOOOO stupid! The way the government and the WHO are talking about H1N1 is just causing mass panic. People have even stopped eating pork (which doesn't bother ME because I'm a vegetarian and I love animals and don't think people should eat pork ANYWAYS...but I digress) because of this stupid scare, even after the WHO has said as long as it is thoroughly cooked it poses NO health risk for "swine flu." So that's completely trashing the pork industry. I mean...this whole thing is just causing one, big, unnecessary mess.

When it starts getting bad and killing thousands or millions of people like the Spanish Flu of 1918 or the Cholera pandemics of the 1800's, then I'll be really concerned. But until then, leave the piggies alone and STOP FREAKIN OUT! This is nature's way of controlling human overpopulation and we just have to go with the flow and stay calm...otherwise we'll get ourselves into a shitload of even MORE trouble!

Until next time, don't get your panties in a bunch!

Peace, love, and happiness!

Stepping out of the "comfort zone"

It has recently become apparent to me that I am a lot bolder than I used to be and a lot braver than I ever thought I WOULD be. For instance, I never would have pictured myself in the "slave Leia" outfit from Return of the Jedi...EVER. But as you can see, I totally went for it. This past weekend was Starfest (and Wash and I's 1 year anniversary), and as a gift to my ego, Wash's fantasies, and to all nerds everywhere, I rocked the slave Leia costume. R O C K E D. For being half naked and completely exposed both physically and psychologically, I think I did a pretty damn good job. I have never felt so confident scantily clad as I did at Starfest '09. And I am really surprised by that. I have always been a modest, relatively shy (and definitely insecure) person...so for me, wearing a bikini around half the day and attracting WAY too much attention to myself was huge. And if I do say so myself, I looked pretty snazzy (even without losing the 20 lbs that I had planned to before the con).

BUT, believe it or not, this isn't the ONLY way I stepped out of my comfort zone this week/weekend. My friends and I dressed up as the crew of Firefly and participated in the costume contest at the con also. This involved getting on stage (scary)...in front of what seemed like a million people (even scarier)...being in character (I'm FREAKING OUT)...all at the same time (*dies of shock*). This was also a huge accomplishment for me because I have always had stage fright and a fear of being in front of a ton of people and I suck at acting (at least I think so). But with the encouragement of my friends and Wash, I got on that stage and I owned River Tam...I kicked proverbial Reaver ass. I was really proud of myself for even getting up there in the first place and even prouder that I was able to pull off an AWESOME River (and the crowd absolutely loved us)! It was one of the definite highlights of the con even though we had to stand in line for three hours (and I was in boots with 2 1/2 inch heels).

I've EVEN found that I am stepping out of my comfort zone at work and in my relationships with others. I have always been a VERY flexible, agreeable, "do whatever you say if it makes you happy," sacrificing wants/needs kind of person. I will do ANYTHING my coworkers and bosses ask me even if it totally screws up my work schedule and pisses me off, and I will do ANYTHING for friends/relatives/s.o. even if it compromises my happiness or upsets me. BUT no longer! I have finally started standing up for what I want and what I need both at work and in my relationships. This is a really big accomplishment for me! Of course I am still flexible and agreeable, but I'm not allowing people to take advantage of my willingness to do anything for anyone anymore (enough any's there?). I am impressed by how much more I learn about myself and my life every day...it's pretty damn cool. Oh, AND I went and saw a movie by myself for the first time in forever...and actually ENJOYED myself (usually when I am alone, I freak out, get depressed, and am miserable because I like being around other people). I went and saw Earth...it was amazing and everyone should go see it (it's so fucking beautiful and fantastic: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0393597/ ...REALLY...go see it...NOW)! Our planet and the creatures in it are so incredible...too bad humans fuck everything up (moving on now......)

So the storal of the mory is that I am finally stepping out. No, not out of the closet...out of my comfort zone. I am expanding and growing as a person and I think that is awesome! How did I become so confident and comfortable with myself? I have no idea...but I'm loving it!

Until next time, don't stop believin'!
Peace, love, and happiness!

Domo Arigato (Mr. Roboto?)

Ok, I need to start out by saying that I fucking HATE Colorado weather sometimes. I really did NOT appreciate the 15" of snow we received. C'mon it's MARCH (even though March is one of our snowiest months, it should be spring-like dammit)!!! I had to leave my flipping car at work on Thursday because there was NO WAY I was getting it home in the blizzard...I would have been stranded on the side of the road. So thank GOD one of my awesomely awesome coworkers had 4 wheel drive and gave me a lift home (and Wash took me on Friday to pick it up)! But seriously...crappy...ass...weather! I hope we are done with that EVIL white stuff of doom for the rest of the season (I doubt it).

This weekend was groovytastic! Wash and I made an appearance at Wasabi-con on Friday and Saturday at the Sheraton off Hampden and I-25. Yes, it's what it sounds like...an anime convention full of slutty teeny-boppers and people with WAY too much time on their hands. I love cons (counting down the days till Starfest baby!!), but I had a hard time getting into this one. Anime isn't really my thing (I like some of them of course like SAILOR MOON but it's not my cup of tea most of the time), so that in itself was a problem. Everyone there was really young (I swear to god Wash, at the young age of 27, was probably the oldest person there except for parents of con-goers...pretty sad lol) and I was overwhelmed by the amount of *squee*ing and *glomp*ing and drama drama drama. BUT, Kairi was there with her friends along with some of Wash's friends, and so it was nice to hang out with all of them.

Friday night was awesome...at the con we got to watch a good-old, manly arm-wrestling tournament, drink fake rum made from some dude's grandma (don't ask), get tipsy on Merlot (can't beat that), eat some yummy pizza, hang with some cool people, and listen to a GM speak about being, well, a better GM (my baby is a GM so it was right up our alley). Then we went back to the hotel that Wash and I got for the weekend and had a party of our own (muahaha). Saturday Wash had to work so I chilled and watched a TV show on hostages and drug smuggling all day (because I'm a freak like that...it was called Locked Up Abroad and was highly addicting). Then Wash and I went to lunch at a ramen place off Hampden (EVERYONE SHOULD GO THERE!! It's like a traditional Japanese noodle bar with AMAZING food), and went back to the con for a bit where I loaded up with a bunch of Japanese snack food (Pocky, Ramune, and Karl...don't you love having Karl in your mouth? Haha). This was followed by a nap, which was followed by bowling and pool with Wash's bro in Highlands Ranch. We had Noodles and Co for dinner and then headed back to our hotel where I watched the Sex and the City movie and Wash played DS (and of course we had another party of our own muahaha)! So...overall, FANTASTIC weekend (even though the con was a little boring).

Today was freaky. Long story. Another post maybe? Let's just say some men are really pervy and make me want to take a shower (and run away...and never come back to work again...and cry a little...and almost call my boyfriend in a panic...and call security...and yeah). BUT, moving on now...I'll talk about it another time. It turned out not being as bad as I thought...but it was bad nonetheless. Gotta jet! Time to leave this god-forsaken place (worky work).

Until next time, never turn your back on a friend (because Sailor Moon doesn't)!
Peace, love, and happiness!