It's March 17th. I woke up today and went to work where I was promptly pinched by a coworker for not wearing green. Shit. You've got to be kidding. It's St. Patty's day...and I'm wearing brown. All brown. Not even green socks...or even a green hairtie. Not even green underwear! I am a horrible Irish person...I am shaming my ancestors. I remember being terrified of St. Patrick's day when I was a little girl. I was SO afraid of waking up and going to school with not even a hint of green on and getting tortured by mean classmates all day long. I never ONCE forgot (my sister had it easy and always claimed her sparkling little emerald eyes counted as wearing green...I'm still not sure about that one). Today was a different story. No, I am not afraid of not wearing green on St. Patty's day anymore, but trust me, the pinching is no less irritating or torturous. I eventually had to break down and color a green clover on a piece of computer paper and tape it to my work vest just to appease people. The only people at work who DIDN'T seem to mind that I wasn't wearing the "color of the day" were the patients...and that's surprising (usually they mind EVERYTHING and sure the hell aren't afraid to "tell" you about it). On that note (and because I feel like having this blog entry be horribly choppy because I'm cool like that), it's time for my annual Anti-Saint Patrick's Day rant!
Ok, maybe I should rephrase. I'm not AGAINST St. Paddy's Day (is it Patty or Paddy...I have no clue), but I AM against Saint Patrick! Why, you ask? Brace yourselves...this gets ridiculous! And is probably completely historically inaccurate! 1) According to legend, he chased all the snakes out of Ireland. Isn't that good, you ask? NO! Did anyone EVER stop to think about how the snakes felt? That was their natural habitat and then some freaky dude with a staff (or something) came into THEIR territory and drove them into the sea...or into England (how did the English people feel?! I guess they did a lot of crappy junk to the Irish though so I digress...). But really...did anyone stop and think about how those little snakes felt about the whole thing? Of course not. Only I think of stupid shit like that. 2) Saint Patrick persecuted Pagans. Why would I want to celebrate a day named after some douche who burned my people on stakes (stakes...not snakes, mind you)? I DON'T! Thank you very much! My Druid ancestors were just minding their own business worshipping the elements and nature when Mr. FancyRobes comes in and decides to "change" things with what we now call "Catholicism." And then all my people died...the end. Or they were converted (even worse). Yeah...thanks A LOT Saint Patrick. And don't you dare hit me "how do you actually know St. Patrick persecuted your people?" How do I know? He was Catholic. Question answered, next song please. 3) He looks funny. No, just kidding. I just needed to come up with a 3rd reason because two reasons don't make a very convincing argument. And green beer is cool (c'mon, who thought of that? That's wicked genius right there).
So, instead of going out and partying with friends and drinking the aforementioned alcohol and being crazy and ridiculous, I am staying home and doing laundry...because I REFUSE to celebrate Saint Patrick (or maybe it's because I am really tired and just want to come up with an excuse for being a TOTAL party pooper...yeah that might be it)! At least it will be better than a couple years ago...the day is still fresh in my little memory. Ok, it wasn't that horrible...I just ended up at Bennigan's...alone...eating more Kilkenny chicken tenders and honey mustard than I could stomach. It was pretty depressing...and pathetic...and now crickets are chirping...awkward!
Anywhoosits, I think I'm gonna travel on home and wash some clothes, eat some spaghetti and coffee ice cream (because that's very Irish you know), watch "13 Going on 30" which my wonderful Scully bought me yesterday (I'm not a sap for girly movies at all...no no not me), and chill like an ice cube. And maybe I'll be motivated to make something for the work potluck tomorrow...or I'll do what I usually do and just pick up some donuts in the morning because I am lazy and hate to cook. We'll see.
Until next time, I'm a geek and you must be too if you are reading this silly blog! Love ya!
Peace, love, and happiness!
You're too damn cute! I have perma-green due to my tattoos...I don't think they count either.
ReplyDeleteProbably not, but good try? :-P
ReplyDelete