Stepping out of the "comfort zone"

It has recently become apparent to me that I am a lot bolder than I used to be and a lot braver than I ever thought I WOULD be. For instance, I never would have pictured myself in the "slave Leia" outfit from Return of the Jedi...EVER. But as you can see, I totally went for it. This past weekend was Starfest (and Wash and I's 1 year anniversary), and as a gift to my ego, Wash's fantasies, and to all nerds everywhere, I rocked the slave Leia costume. R O C K E D. For being half naked and completely exposed both physically and psychologically, I think I did a pretty damn good job. I have never felt so confident scantily clad as I did at Starfest '09. And I am really surprised by that. I have always been a modest, relatively shy (and definitely insecure) person...so for me, wearing a bikini around half the day and attracting WAY too much attention to myself was huge. And if I do say so myself, I looked pretty snazzy (even without losing the 20 lbs that I had planned to before the con).

BUT, believe it or not, this isn't the ONLY way I stepped out of my comfort zone this week/weekend. My friends and I dressed up as the crew of Firefly and participated in the costume contest at the con also. This involved getting on stage (scary)...in front of what seemed like a million people (even scarier)...being in character (I'm FREAKING OUT)...all at the same time (*dies of shock*). This was also a huge accomplishment for me because I have always had stage fright and a fear of being in front of a ton of people and I suck at acting (at least I think so). But with the encouragement of my friends and Wash, I got on that stage and I owned River Tam...I kicked proverbial Reaver ass. I was really proud of myself for even getting up there in the first place and even prouder that I was able to pull off an AWESOME River (and the crowd absolutely loved us)! It was one of the definite highlights of the con even though we had to stand in line for three hours (and I was in boots with 2 1/2 inch heels).

I've EVEN found that I am stepping out of my comfort zone at work and in my relationships with others. I have always been a VERY flexible, agreeable, "do whatever you say if it makes you happy," sacrificing wants/needs kind of person. I will do ANYTHING my coworkers and bosses ask me even if it totally screws up my work schedule and pisses me off, and I will do ANYTHING for friends/relatives/s.o. even if it compromises my happiness or upsets me. BUT no longer! I have finally started standing up for what I want and what I need both at work and in my relationships. This is a really big accomplishment for me! Of course I am still flexible and agreeable, but I'm not allowing people to take advantage of my willingness to do anything for anyone anymore (enough any's there?). I am impressed by how much more I learn about myself and my life every day...it's pretty damn cool. Oh, AND I went and saw a movie by myself for the first time in forever...and actually ENJOYED myself (usually when I am alone, I freak out, get depressed, and am miserable because I like being around other people). I went and saw Earth...it was amazing and everyone should go see it (it's so fucking beautiful and fantastic: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0393597/ ...REALLY...go see it...NOW)! Our planet and the creatures in it are so incredible...too bad humans fuck everything up (moving on now......)

So the storal of the mory is that I am finally stepping out. No, not out of the closet...out of my comfort zone. I am expanding and growing as a person and I think that is awesome! How did I become so confident and comfortable with myself? I have no idea...but I'm loving it!

Until next time, don't stop believin'!
Peace, love, and happiness!